Going Off To College With NLD
Today we will discuss the challenges that others experienced in college because of NLD. Some of the content might be triggering if you have experienced difficulty with transitions, homesickness, or child abuse.
The article we will use is “Navigating Through The Rough Seas of Transitions” by Amy. And she shares that people with NLD can have challenges with changes and transitions.
“Transitions come in all shapes and sizes and act as one of the defining threads of this tapestry of life. Although they pose challenges for everyone at some point, individuals with neurological differences may encounter particular difficulty with various types of transitions. Many individuals with an autism spectrum disorder are prone to meltdowns when transitioning from one activity to another, particularly when the shifting of gears is not predictable and seamless. Those of us with a nonverbal learning disability may also enter an “ autopilot shut-down mode” despite an effort to apply the brakes. Although we may not gain substantial benefit from visual aids, we can enlist verbal strategies to ensure that the navigation into uncharted waters is minimally choppy.” (https://nvld.org/navigating-transitions/)
I can relate to what Amy shared because I had a difficult time transitioning from living at home to living on my own in college. I not only miss my parents, and my friends but I also missed my dog, Truffles. I remember often having meltdowns when I was alone, or in my room at night when I was trying to fall asleep. If you haven’t read chapter 20 yet it might be good to read that one because it’ll provide more context for you.
The personal things I was going through were still trying to get through the trauma and aftermath of being sexually abused by my cousin for the better part of six years of my childhood. If that wasn’t enough, basically half of my extended family doesn’t believe my story. We haven’t talked about it since it happened so it turned into a big elephant in the family. They think I have some fault to do with it and are both equally responsible for it. They also minimize it to just show and tell rather than sexual abuse. None of this is true of course. It was completely his fault. I had no idea what he was doing was wrong until I got older. I concluded with my gut feeling that it was wrong because I didn’t feel comfortable when he did it to me. No one had told me what sex was until after I disclosed it. And I knew that I was the only one to stop him.
During college, I decided to do another year of therapy so I could continue letting go and processing the trauma. I had already done four years in high school. I did a psycho-drama group which was different for me. If you’re not familiar with it. Psycho-drama therapy is when you try to act out the emotions and feelings that you have experienced through PTSD. It’s cool and therapeutic. It helped me get that energy and emotions out of my mind and body.
I remember when I would run from my co-op to the Berkeley Marnia I would start crying, because of how much emotional stress I was going through. This was in my sophomore year in college. I never took my headphones out to see if someone would ask why I was crying. I didn’t look around either to see if someone was looking at me. I just cried for like five minutes. This felt good but it didn’t do anything to get rid of my loneliness. I even remember texting my brother Johnathon. And breaking down to the point of taking a semester off because of the complex it was for me to be away from my parents and dog. Of course, this was all before I was diagnosed with NLD. I was diagnosed at the end of my sophomore year and the beginning of my junior year.
Eventually, I decided to get my dog certified as an emotional support animal so I could have her up with me in college. After that, I was able to have her with me for the last year and a half of college. This made it so much easier because then I could do better in my classes and not be as homesick. Before Truffles was an ESA I was going home once a month, afterwards, I did it once every other month and I brought her with me. Once I had Truffles up in college with me my friends wanted to meet her because I had always talked about her. I’m so glad I got her certified as an ESA for me, that was one of the best choices of my life. Please let me know if you need help or assistance on how to make your pet an ESA. It’s really easy to do.
I also tried to hang out with my friends often to make things easier. This gave me the practice to improve on my social challenges. And I also hung out with my older brother Johnathon often. He lived nearby my college. We did fun things on the weekend and helped me with my homework occasionally. One thing I told myself as a motivator was that there was a reason they accepted me and I was one of the few that got a chance to attend the number one university in the country. This helped me when I got discouraged and wasn't sure why I was accepted because often it was very challenging for me to do well in my classes. It felt like a four-year marathon.
I share these things because I have made my life easier with these challenges. Some of these challenges still exist in my life today, it’s not like they disappear once I overcome them. I want to encourage you to work hard on your challenges so you can make your life easier like I did. And I would like to share with you that there were many times I didn’t believe I was going to graduate college, especially in my last two years. I remember my mom saying to me “do you believe that I believe that you are going to graduate?” I would say “yes.” And she said, “okay remember that when you don’t believe that you are going to graduate.” And that was very motivating for me. I also remember looking at the view from the fire trails above the college and telling myself I belong here and I will graduate. I also reminded myself of how far I had come and to keep going. And not give up. Whether it’s going through a big change, emotional stress, or PTSD I and others who have NLD still experience these challenges with NLD.