NLD and Positive Self-Talk
I took a couple of weeks off before recording this one, partly because I’ve been dealing with a migraine that lasted about thirteen weeks straight. Yes, thirteen. At times, it’s felt like being hit in the head with a sledgehammer—plus the nausea to match. It’s been rough, and I needed to step back and rest. I’m hoping things are on the mend now.
Today I want to talk about something I’ve been working on personally: positive self-talk—what it is, why it’s so hard for many of us (neurodivergent or not), and how to get better at it.
Do you struggle with positive self-talk? If you do, you’re far from alone. I’ve been focusing on it more recently, especially after losing forty pounds—yes, for the fourth time in my life—and wanting to keep it off. My goal isn’t just to encourage other people with NLD, but anyone who wrestles with self-doubt, neurodivergent or neurotypical alike. This is a human thing.
Why Positive Self-Talk Is Hard
Society doesn’t exactly make it easy. We’re told to meet impossible standards in beauty, success, intelligence, and fitness—standards that leave little room for being our authentic selves. That pressure affects everyone, though it can feel even heavier when you’re neurodivergent and already navigating extra challenges.
The first article I read on the topic, Three Tips to Improve Your Positive Self-Talk (SWSG Blogging Corps, July 2013), made a powerful point: communication starts with the inner dialogue we have with ourselves. Those thoughts shape our actions, so changing our thought patterns can change our behavior.
They suggested starting with positive affirmations—short, encouraging statements you can repeat to replace negative thinking. For example:
“You are present. You are aware. You are powerful.”
That’s one of the author uses when feeling overwhelmed. They also stressed optimism—not just seeing the glass as half full, but applying positivity to yourself and believing you can meet challenges.
They finished with a reminder I love: be kind to yourself. Take breaks. Rest. Reward yourself for a job well done. Because exhaustion fuels negative self-talk.
This resonated with me. I’ve been telling myself more often, “I can do this,” especially in moments where I used to second-guess myself. It’s not easy. But the more I practice, the easier it becomes—and the better it feels to encourage others to do the same.
More Tips for Better Self-Talk
The second article I explored, Positive Self-Talk: How Talking to Yourself Is a Good Thing (reviewed by Timothy J. Lague, PhD; updated by Kimberly Holland, 2020), gave some practical tips:
Spot the traps – Notice scenarios that trigger your self-doubt.
Check in with your feelings – Pause on tough days to evaluate your inner dialogue.
Find humor – Lightness can break the negativity spiral.
Surround yourself with positive people – Energy is contagious.
Give yourself affirmations – Yes, it’s worth repeating.
For men, an article called Seven of the 75 Most Powerful Positive Affirmations for Men (by Shubhahumashulaka) offered examples that work for anyone:
“I am becoming the best version of myself.”
“My world changes with my mindset and thoughts.”
“I am enough.”
Positive Self-Talk and Neurodivergence
For those of us who are neurodivergent, the challenge is often deeper. Nicola James, psychologist and founder of Lexic, wrote Neurodiversity and the Power of Self-Talk (2022), and her words hit home:
“As a neurodivergent person, you can often find yourself facing many challenges, obstacles, and negative experiences early in life. Because of this, we may start to compare ourselves to people who we assume find life easier, causing us to think negative thoughts such as ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m broken.’”
She explained that when we internalize our self-worth—measuring it by others’ standards—it becomes inconsistent and fragile. Her turning point came when a coach encouraged her to seek self-worth from within. She began listening to her inner voice, identifying her strengths, and setting internal boundaries. Over time, she noticed that not all her self-talk was true, and she learned to replace harsh thoughts with kinder, more accurate ones.
Her practical suggestions include:
Identify negative thought patterns – Notice when and where they appear most.
List your strengths and joys – Keep reminders where you’ll see them.
Avoid catastrophizing – Don’t replay one bad thing endlessly.
Set boundaries – Protect your emotional space.
Celebrate wins – No matter how small.
A Personal Win on the Slopes
I saw the power of this mindset shift in action over the holidays. We went skiing, and for once, I didn’t psych myself out or second-guess my ability. My half-marathon training had boosted my stamina, and I felt confident. I skied better than I ever had—fast enough to beat my brother down most runs! My parents and brother were thrilled, but honestly, the real victory was that I was proud of myself
Closing Thoughts
Positive self-talk isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about shifting your inner dialogue so it builds you up instead of tearing you down. It takes awareness, practice, and a willingness to be kinder to yourself than you might be by default.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s hard for me,” I get it. I’ve been there. I’m still there some days. But each small change matters.
If you want to explore more, I encourage you to journal about your gifts and differences. Ask yourself: How could I make these differences easier to work with? Keep your reminders visible. And don’t forget—reward yourself when you make progress.
You can connect with me through my website, livingwithnld.com, or on Facebook and Instagram at Living with NLD. And if you know someone with NLD who’d like to share their story, email me at livingwithnld@gmail.com.
Remember: You are present. You are aware. You are powerful.
