NLD and Trying to Style Your Hair, Taking Care of Your Body, and Receiving Constructive Feedback
Today’s episode is about trying to style your hair, taking care of your body, and receiving constructive feedback with NLD. But first I want to acknowledge something. I would also like time to celebrate today that I have been doing this podcast for one whole year! I started with just 6 plays for my first episode on July 17th of 2020. Then when I started the website in September on the 18th I got 8 views just from the U.S. I also started the Facebook and Instagram page in that month too and had 16 followers on both platforms. Went international on August 19th 2020, with Canada joining the audience. Within one week of the podcast being on Spotify it had 39 plays and 9 listeners. In November of last year I got 1,000 plays across the episodes. In January of this year I created the Youtube channel and had 13 subscribers on it.
Now one year later I’m at 3,176 plays (most plays in a day 65), 146 listeners and 58 followers on Spotify. 119 likes and 131 followers on Facebook. 86 followers on Instagram. 22 YouTube subscribers and 496 views of and 18 likes YouTube. 45 people on the newsletter list. 45 states, 41 countries, 490 counted cities worldwide, total of 1,171 downloads across all episodes and 1,812 website views. And I’ve done 52 episodes with 974 views on the website! I have done 17 interviews and 36 solo episodes. I also have about 10 people on the facebook chats that were on zoom in the beginning.
I’m not sharing this to brag, I’m sharing this out pride because I didn’t think my baby would grow this quickly in one year. I couldn’t have done it without my audience and all the feedback I’ve gotten from them so thank you. Also thanks to everyone who wrote those articles I have referenced in my podcasts. It has helped me provide another perspective to my podcast that I wouldn’t have been able to do without them.
Thank you to the NVLD Project and This NLD Life for helping spread the word about my podcast especially when I don’t ask you to help me out. I love when I see you post about it on your own because then I get to comment on it and thank you.
Thank you to the NVLD Project for the recognition you gave me with the care package you sent me for being a NLD advocate and helping you raise a total of $1,781 across two fundraisers. That package made me feel really special and like all the hard work was worth it. I still feel that each time I get feedback from my audience and wear one of the t-shirts you gave me.
Thank you to everyone I’ve interviewed the ones that are published on the podcast and will be soon. I’ve done probably 20 interviews with NTs and NVLDers. You also added more to the podcast with different perspectives and opinions. I’ve learned from you more than I thought I would before each interview started. Thank you to Zoom for making recording of the interviews easy to do.
Also thank you audience for making my website really popular on google. It's on the first page and I created and designed that with the help of my brother and mom. Thank you to my family and friends supporting and helping me with doing this. They have helped me record some of the episodes by being voices for some of the interviewees who were too nervous or anxious to have their voice on the podcast. They have also helped with researching topics. They helped me know what equipment to use. They have helped keep my dog quiet while I’m recording so there’s not so much background noise.
Thank you to my family for supporting me in creating something that changed who I was before I started it because I got better at knowing what NLD is, researching it, and knowing myself as a result.
This has always been a challenge for me especially since my hair is super thick and hasn’t always been the same length. It’s either been at my waist, shoulder length or bob cut. I liked having all those lengths but the easiest one to style was the shoulder because now that I figured out the hard way I can just wash my hair and sleep with it wet. And wake up super curly, I got that gene from my dad. I did try to curl my hair with an iron but it’s hard because you have to figure out which way to curl the hair whether it is towards or away from your face. This is also true when you use a straightener.
I think guys can relate to this because they probably have challenges with trying to figure out how to style their hair with gel or water. And whether they need to use a comb or fingers to style it.
I can relate to this article from yahoo news “How Nonverbal Learning Disability Affects Me” by Elieen Herzog
“For example, I can’t wear makeup, I can’t wear most dresses because of the tricky zippers, I can’t tie my shoes tight, do my own hair other than to brush it, and so many other things because of the hand-eye coordination and spatial skills they require. Even taking a shower takes me a few extra minutes as it takes me longer to turn it on and off and to wash my hair and body due to my poor hand strength and hand-eye coordination.”
I used to not be able to do more than just brush my hair and wash it but I got better at taking care of myself because of my parents. My mom used to have long hair so she could help me a lot and my dad was willing to help too. They both were good at doing hairdos. It also got easier if I looked at how other girls did their hair as long as they had similar hair to mine. I have a lot of ways to get off my neck now with just one item instead of many which also makes it easier.
One of the main reasons it's hard to style hair with NLD is because of the fine motor skills. You have to learn how much hair to put in the curling iron or straightener. Another reason it is difficult is because of a sense of direction and having to know whether you turn the iron clockwise or counter clockwise in addition to where to put the hair on the iron. Does it go on the front or the back of it?
I had a meltdown while trying to style my hair and get it well done the day of our family photos which made part of the day worse. I was letting my mom do it but realizing I could never be as good as her because of NLD and all the challenges that come with it. That’s when I realized I would have an easier time if I just slept with my hair wet than trying to curl it with an iron. This took some stress out of my life and made me happier because then I enjoyed my mornings more.
One more challenge that comes with styling hair and taking care of it is the timing of it because you have to learn how often to do it and plan ahead which can be tricky to do with NLD. I am good at planning ahead because of being homeschooled and doing trips during times when there weren’t always school breaks. I had to learn how to schedule ahead of time so I didn’t fall behind on schoolwork. This also helped with timing because I learned when to do projects and prioritize them and try to do less important ones at other times.
When trying to style and take care of your hair or body you have to plan ahead so you know how it will take which means you have to wake up early. You also have to be willing to hear constructive feedback from people about it which may be challenging to hear especially if you don’t always want to hear it. I’ve gotten better at receiving feedback because I’ve had to deal with NVLD.
Sometimes I know I haven’t done well with receiving feedback because it’s unexpected and too critical which I usually take too sensitively, especially if it was about something I spent a lot of time trying to do well on. Like I remember knitting a beanie for my dad and it came out too loose between the rows and stitches. When I got feedback from my mom about it I felt like redoing the whole thing which I had spent a whole month on. I knew it should have been tighter but I didn’t want to make it too tight because I remember how hard it was to pull off the previous stitches from the last beanie I made, which was for myself.
This article has a good strategy for constructive feedback, it’s tilted Nonverbal Learning Disorders (NVLD or NLD)” by Sue Thompson and Byron Rourke from neuro assessment and development center
“Do tell this child everything and encourage her to give you verbal feedback. The most effective instructional procedures are those that associate verbal labels with concrete situations and experiences. "I shouldn't have to tell you" does not apply - assume you do have to tell her. She cannot "look and learn."
I can relate to this quote because I do need verbal feedback because I’m such a verbal person and dependent on my words and the use of them that comes with being a NVLDer. I need you to tell me point blank how to improve otherwise if you’re not clear I won’t know how to move forward. And if you use your body language or something other than words it won’t be as clear to me. I am good with feedback in emails or written format because then I can save it for future reference.
I also frequently asked about feedback with my work at previous jobs because I wanted to improve and show them that was true. My mom is very good at giving my feedback because she makes sure that I understand it and my improvement gets acknowledged especially when I don’t ask for it to be. When she does that means more to me because she knows how hard it is for me to work on specific projects for her because of NLD. And I think she appreciates the time I take to do them because it shows that I care about my work and want to do a good job on it.
This correlates to taking care of yourself because you want to look nice and show that you love your body just the way it is, whether that is fat, short, tall or skinny. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. I’ve learned that over the years of trying to love my body more too which is not always an easy thing to do. So whether it’s about trying to style your hair, take care of your body, or learn how to receive constructive feedback, I and others who have NLD still have challenges with these areas today.
As I wrap I would like to hear from the audience about the challenges you experience in these areas from taking care of yourself, styling your hair and receiving constructive feedback. Please email me at livingwithnld@gmail.com with the answer. Or comment on this episode on livingwithnld.com with the answer. You can also go to Youtube and comment on the episode with the answer. Thank you for listening today and I hope you learned something new about yourself. Talk to you next Friday.
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