NLD, Sympathy vs. Empathy

Do you ever struggle with empathy or sympathy? I know I do sometimes.

Here’s a helpful quote to start with:

"Sympathy involves understanding from your perspective, while empathy involves putting yourself in the other person’s shoes."

For me, empathy comes more naturally when I can relate to someone’s experiences. I've been through difficult things—like sexual abuse, betrayal, and being bullied—and I use those experiences to connect with others. But even when I can’t relate directly, I still try to be supportive and listen without judgment.

Sometimes people just need a listening ear—not advice—and that’s enough.

Reflections from Others

Katie Deeb’s Story

An article titled “The Most Hurtful Comment Someone Said About My Nonverbal Learning Disability” by Katie Deeb stood out to me. Someone once told her:

"You lack empathy. You get it, but you lack empathy. Because of that, you don’t belong here."

Katie shared that her challenge wasn’t a lack of empathy, but rather difficulty expressing it in socially acceptable ways. I relate to that. Social filters can be tough with NLD, and we might overshare in an attempt to connect.

Kelly M.'s Article on The Mighty

In “What Having Nonverbal Learning Disability Means to Me”, Kelly M. writes:

"People with NLD tend to be highly sensitive and thus highly empathetic."

I resonate with this. I often dwell on mistakes or worry about hurting others’ feelings, and that overthinking stems from sensitivity. But sometimes, it’s also about how others respond—and that’s a nuance people with NLD may not pick up on easily.

Learning Disabilities Association of Ontario

One article from the Learning Disabilities Association of Ontario said:

“Children with NVLD are interested in social relationships and have the capacity for empathy, but may feel isolated and struggle to form satisfying peer relationships.”

It also mentioned difficulties understanding humor and a higher risk of depression or anxiety. These experiences are familiar to many with NLD.

Final Thoughts

People with NLD can be empathetic and sympathetic, but we often face challenges reading social cues or knowing when to stop sharing. The good news is, these are skills we can learn and improve.

Reflection Questions:

• Do you struggle with being empathetic or sympathetic?

• How do you show empathy in your life?

You can answer on:

• Spotify Q&A

• YouTube comments

• livingwithnld.com

• Or by emailing me at livingwithnld@gmail.com

In Closing

Please visit livingwithnld.com and follow me on Facebook and Instagram under Living with NLD. I’ll include all relevant links in the description.

If you know someone with NLD who’d like to be interviewed, or if you have topic suggestions, I’d love to hear from you.

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Until next Friday, take care—and remember: you are not alone.