Don’t Give Up
Today we’re going to discuss not giving up with the NLD on challenges even when it gets discouraging. I want to encourage you all even if you don’t have NLD but have another LC (Learning Challenging) to try to make your differences become your strengths so you can make your life easier.
Here is an article from the NVLD project titled “Making Progress!” by Shannon written on January 10, 2019, she is a “Shannon is a homeschool mom of 10 (only 12 years left to go!) who teaches all levels of all subjects.”
“We were introduced to “Disconnected Kids” by Dr. Robert Melillo by the pediatric chiropractor. “Disconnected Kids” was designed to make the therapies taught at Brain Balance Achievement Centers accessible to families with insufficient funds or who lived too far away from a Center. He also listed NVLD in the different diagnoses one might have! His point is that, instead of focusing on a child’s strengths (they don’t need any help), helpers should focus on strengthening the weaknesses so the weak side of the brain can catch up with the strong side.”
I can relate to this quote because I was homeschooled too before college and I think that helped me excel not only because I had tutors but because I didn’t give up trying to improve and get better at subjects that were challenging for me to do well in. My parents and brother tried to help me but were busy with work. And as my brother got older he got busier with more homework. Also, it didn’t help that I was learning them differently than my parents did and new things so it was difficult for them to help me. In middle and high school they asked people in the congregation of my mom’s church for help if they were good in the subjects of mathematics, science, English, and history so I could get some help. I’ve probably had at least 15 tutors before I got to college that helped, I feel very fortunate that I was able to get The help I needed and from people that were very good at it.
I’m trying to brag by sharing all this but I want you all to know that it takes a village of support to succeed and we're in school with NVLD if you didn’t already know that. You can try to do it by yourself with support from the support that your friends and family are willing to give you, but if you don’t advocate for yourself and try to get more support it’ll be more difficult to succeed and have an easier life with NVLD.
Trust me I know what it was like to have some help from the tutoring center professors, and Graduate Student Instructors (GSIs) at UC Berkeley but not any more than that before I got my diagnosis for the first two years of college. After I went through all those tests at the Wright Institute and got my accommodations it was so much easier to do well in school because I knew why different subjects were difficult for me. And I knew how to succeed by using my strengths as an advantage.
I also had my mom and Alex, my GSI , help me with writing and proofreading my essays in all my sociology classes as I’ve mentioned to you before. Once I knew what I needed I started advocating for it more and fortunately I didn’t have any pushback from my professors or teachers. They were willing to help me and be accommodating thank goodness. Maybe it was because I was in the sociology and environmental science departments that could have been why that happened. I think I also had angles of past family members watching over me making sure that I would get the help I needed in college. But I do know from talking to other NVLDers that it’s not always easy to advocate for yourself and you can’t always get the accommodations that you need or deserve to have.
Here is an article titled “My Path to Success With Nonverbal Learning Disorder” by Eileen Herzog
“In my experience, while these deficiencies were noticeable early, they became more noticeable around the beginning of second or third grade. For example, when your teacher posts artwork in the room or if you make a Mother’s Day project, you become confused about why your work is so messy compared to the others. Another example is when your parents tend to pick foods that are easier for you to eat. You may think “why can’t I have an orange for a snack” and then you remember something as easy as peeling an orange is often a difficult task.”
I can relate to Eileen Herzog because I can remember when I was little and would make my family birthday cards or cards for other celebrations. I used to make them open in the wrong direction, instead of from left to right it was right to left. I didn’t know it was wrong then. I also used to have some dyslexia with letters especially i and e in there, sometimes I still do this. Like when I was practicing driving recently and my dad was giving me some good constructive feedback about how to change lanes, he asked me what was the first step to change lanes? I hesitated because I usually don’t think about it. I just do it but a good way to remember it is SMOG: Signal, Mirror, (look) Over the shoulder, Go, that’s what I was taught in drivers ed. I didn’t remember all of that acronym when he asked if all I could remember was the S and I flipped the M and O because I was thinking about it instead of reflecting on what I usually do. But I googled it when I got home because as I thought about his feedback more I realized that he and I had learned the same way to change lanes. I just didn’t remember the full acronym until I googled it because I knew I would recognize it once I saw it. I’m glad my muscle memory didn’t go away.
Driving is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to learn because of my visual-spatial issues and multitasking due to NLD. But as I’ve practiced more and got better I’ve realized that because I’ve been in a couple of accidents I know how to be more cautious and safe, which is good. No one got hurt in the accidents because I was fortunate with them to hit an empty parked car and the empty side of a moving vehicle. But like I said I’ve learned from those dreadful mistakes to be more cautious and aware of your surroundings. I do natural takes now before turning and I scan in my mirror more often than I used to.
But I haven’t let discouragement with driving lessons in the empty parking lots stop me from improving because I know I need to learn to be more independent and get my confidence back with driving. Before the accidents, I was still a good and safe driver but not as cautious as I am now after the fact. I will not give up no matter how many times in empty parking lots or weekend carpool lanes on freeway trips it takes me to get my confidence back with driving. Thank you to my four driving instructors, my parents, my brother, and the one from driver’s ed for helping me learn how to drive better couldn’t have done it without their assistance and expertise. There is no manual for teaching a person with NLD to drive, yet.
Songs that you should listen to for this episode: “Anything is possible” by Lea Michele, “In My Blood” by Shawn Mendes, “We Dream” by Morgan Evans, “God Gave Me You” Blake Shelton and “Fighters” by Locash. Treading water by Chris Klafford.
So whether it’s driving, visual-spatial, multi-tasking, fine motor skills, or other challenges trip you up because of having NLD I and others who have it still have these challenges today. But we are fighters and advocates for ourselves because we know that we need help and that we deserve it. We also know that it’s easier to succeed with a village of help rather than no one.
As I wrap up, I would like to hear from you my audience, what are the challenges you run into when you get discouraged by the various challenges that NLD and other LCs present in your life? If you’re listening on the website, please respond on the podcast page on livinwithnld.com. If you’re listening on Spotify please send me an email to livingwithnld@gmail.com with the answer. If you’re listening to the Apple podcast you can email me the answer or leave it in a review whichever is comfortable with you. Please answer to the level of comfort that you have, thank you. Thank you for listening today, talk to me next Friday.
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