NLD and Being Self-Conscious
Today’s focus is something I’ve lived with for as long as I can remember—self-consciousness, especially as it relates to having an invisible learning challenge like NLD (Nonverbal Learning Disorder).
People don’t see it right away, which means they often don’t understand the subtle ways it affects how I interact, connect, and process social situations. This invisibility is both a blessing and a challenge—it allows me to blend in, but it can also make me feel alone in my experience.
Dating and Doubts
One of the hardest areas for me has been dating. Questions swirl in my head:
Will they still like me once they know I have a learning challenge?
Will they think it’s a burden?
Am I giving mixed signals—too quiet one moment, too chatty the next?
Even texting can become a minefield—wondering if I sound too eager or if my messages are misunderstood.
In the past, I’ve even overeaten to intentionally make myself less attractive as a way to feel safer from unwanted attention. But I’ve learned that I don’t need to hide behind that defense. I can protect myself in other ways—by holding firm to my values, recognizing red flags, and walking away when something feels off.
In the Presence of Strangers (and Friends)
I’m also self-conscious in everyday interactions—especially with people who don’t know I have NLD. I overthink:
Am I talking too much?
Am I letting the other person share enough?
Am I staying on topic?
Sometimes I even swing too far the other way—saying very little—because I’m so worried about dominating the conversation. Finding that balance is still a work in progress.
Family as a Safe Space
At home with my parents, I can ask questions freely, like “Do you think they’re upset?” or “What does that facial expression mean?” It’s easier to make social mistakes there without the weight of embarrassment. Those little coaching moments help me navigate public interactions more smoothly.
Self-Conscious in My Work
Even recording my podcasts can make me self-conscious. I want to do well, but I’ve come to accept that mistakes are part of the process. In my early episodes, I spoke too fast, left long pauses, or tripped over words. Over time, I’ve slowed down, enunciated more, and worked on adding expression to my voice—even if it still sounds monotone at times.
You’re Not Alone in This
Self-consciousness isn’t unique to people with learning challenges. Neurotypical individuals experience it too—at work, in relationships, in family life. We all want to be accepted and to show up as our best selves.
If you’re reading this, I invite you to reflect:
What makes you self-conscious?
How do you work through it?
What tools have helped you feel more like yourself in those moments?
Therapy and Support
Therapy has been an important part of my journey. With seven years of experience in it, I can say it has the power to change your life—if you commit to it. BetterHelp, for example, offers accessible, affordable online therapy, making it easier to get started without the stress of finding an in-person provider.
Spreading the Word
On a lighter note, I recently launched my podcast merchandise line—T-shirts, water bottles, and backpacks, all with my logo and tagline. It’s a fun way to spread awareness while supporting the show.
And don’t forget—if you know someone with NLD who would be open to an interview, reach out to me at livingwithNLD@gmail.com. I also encourage you to journal about your strengths and differences. Over time, you may find ways to make the hard things just a little easier.
Until next time—take care of yourself, embrace your quirks, and remember that self-consciousness is only one small part of your story.
If you’d like, I can also create a more memoir-like version of this that blends your personal experiences with short sidebars, quotes, and reflection prompts for readers. That would make it feel even more like a book chapter designed for connection and self-growth.
Do you want me to do that next?
