NLD, Discouragement, and Finding Courage
Some mornings I wake up ready to take on the world, but other days—if I’m being honest—it’s a lot harder. Living with NVLD means that certain things take more effort for me than they do for others, and that can be discouraging. Today I want to talk about inspiration and courage—specifically, how to find them when life feels heavier than it should.
Some songs help me on those harder days. Power Me by Rebecca Lawrence and Small Star by Joyce Johnson Rouse are two I return to again and again. Music can remind me of my strength when I forget it.
What’s Hard, What’s Easy
There are things I consistently find challenging because of NVLD:
Driving—especially for the visual-spatial aspects, multitasking, and my slow reflexes
Doing mental math quickly
Executive functioning and time management
Proofreading emails
Fine and gross motor skills
Processing emotions in real time
And then there are things that come naturally:
Tech work and researching solutions to tech problems
Social media
Memorizing song lyrics and movie lines
Cooking and meal planning
Noticing details others might miss
It’s a strange mix—struggling with what many consider “basic” skills, while excelling in areas that might trip others up.
How Society Can Discourage Us
I recently read an article listing ten ways neurotypical people often shame the neurodivergent community. Some of these include:
Shaming those who don’t follow typical social behaviors
Criticizing productivity or work habits
Mocking organization styles
Yelling at someone for being “disruptive”
Treating us like anomalies
Policing speech and thought patterns
Punishing missed deadlines
Using ableist slurs
Associating disability with danger
Viewing neurodivergence as brokenness
When someone shames you, it can make you want to give up entirely. I’ve had to remind myself more than once not to let that happen.
My Driving Story
When I had my first two car accidents, I stopped driving for a year. Getting back behind the wheel felt like starting from scratch. My confidence was gone. Parking was the hardest—so hard, in fact, that my mom would literally stand in the parking spot and signal when to turn the wheel.
Now I’m working toward getting a newer car with backup cameras and tech that will make driving easier for me. I wish I could save for it faster, but for now, I’m grateful I’m still making progress.
Learning to Budget
Budgeting is another area where I’ve felt discouraged. I want to not only manage my money well but also understand why it works the way it does. My goal is to get better by the end of the year, even if it’s a slow process.
Looking Back to Move Forward
When I feel stuck, I try to look back on how far I’ve come:
Graduating college with NVLD
Learning to drive (despite setbacks)
Navigating social situations
Recording this podcast, even though I sometimes worry about how well I’m communicating
The truth is, it’s easier to focus on mistakes. Like the time I left my computer at work and spent an hour berating myself. Eventually, I reframed it: maybe I wasn’t meant to work that night. NVLD makes it easy to overthink mistakes, but dwelling on them can also help me learn how to avoid repeating them.
One practical example: I used to miss words when proofreading emails. Reading them out loud—or recording myself reading them—helped me catch more errors because my brain couldn’t fill in the missing pieces automatically.
Encouragement for You
If you’re feeling discouraged, take a moment to remember your accomplishments. If that’s hard, ask a friend or family member to remind you. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you already face external criticism, but the reality is that neurodivergence comes with strengths that many neurotypicals don’t have.
You’ve come further than you think. Don’t give up now.
