A Conversation with Luke — Growing Up Neurodivergent

Today, I’m joined by Luke, who shares his experiences living with both NVLD (Nonverbal Learning Disability) and ADHD. From the moment we began talking, I could sense his thoughtfulness and calm energy. He’s 21, from Wisconsin, and is currently taking classes at a local technical college while searching for a job in the IT field. I could relate right away—we're close in age, and I also work in tech support for my mom’s spiritual community.

We began our conversation by reflecting on how we first became aware of our diagnoses. Luke shared that he was diagnosed with NVLD and ADHD in early elementary school—what he described as a “dual diagnosis.” He noted that his social difficulties went beyond what was typically associated with ADHD, which helped guide his clinicians to an NVLD diagnosis as well.

My path was a little different. I was homeschooled, and my NVLD diagnosis didn’t come until college. It was my deaf roommate who inspired me to seek testing, and I’m so glad I did. Having a diagnosis allowed me to access accommodations that made college more manageable and helped me better understand myself.

When I asked Luke how he felt about having NVLD and ADHD, he replied thoughtfully:

“I don’t know if I would have chosen to be this way, but since I am this way, I wouldn’t want to be any different. I like being like this.”

I nodded. That resonated deeply. None of us chooses a learning challenge—or a physical disability, for that matter—but over time, we can come to appreciate how these challenges shape our strengths, identity, and perspective.

Everyday Differences and Challenges

Luke described several challenges that stem from his NVLD and ADHD. Motor skills were tricky for him growing up—things like handwriting and tying his shoes took longer than for other kids. He also struggles with time blindness, which, as we discussed, can stem from both ADHD and NVLD. It’s the sense that you can’t quite track or feel the passage of time the way neurotypicals do.

Math was another hurdle. Luke explained how remembering multiplication facts might have been an ADHD issue, but the difficulty with understanding broader math concepts was likely linked to NVLD. He also mentioned having trouble seeing the “big picture” and instead getting lost in details—something I know well.

Another common challenge we discussed was interpreting tone of voice and facial expressions. Luke explained that while he can hear differences in tone, he struggles with interpreting their meaning. I’ve had similar experiences—like not realizing my voice sounded snappy to someone until someone else pointed it out. I also find it hard to know what my face is doing unless I’m looking in a mirror.

Luke added that he also has a hard time projecting appropriate body language in social situations. For both of us, social cues remain a constant area of learning.

High School and the Social Landscape

We shifted gears to reflect on high school experiences. Luke recalled how certain tones—like when people are being infantilized—were easier for him to detect. He shared how frustrating it is when people speak down to you just because you have a learning disability.

I could relate, especially in situations where people misunderstand what NVLD is. Luke pointed out something really important—that people with NVLD or ADHD are often not trying to be difficult. We just interpret or respond to things differently.

“We may seem like we’re being difficult about the semantics of what you said,” he said, “but we’re just trying to understand it and make sure we don’t misinterpret the message.”

Exactly. Often, we’re not arguing—we’re seeking clarity.

Family, Friends, and Support Systems

When I asked Luke about support from family and friends, he smiled. His best friend is autistic, and they understand each other well—neither of them relies heavily on nonverbal communication, which makes their friendship comfortable and freeing. He credits her with helping him see the parallels between NVLD and lower-support needs autism.

In my case, I’ve been fortunate to have a very supportive family—my mom, dad, and brother are always there for me. I also find connection and encouragement through the podcast community. It means so much to hear from listeners who relate to what I share.

Gifts and Strengths from NVLD and ADHD

Luke pointed to his strong vocabulary as one of his gifts. He enjoyed educational shows like WordGirl and Arthur as a child and absorbed the new words and facts they presented. His ability to retain factual information continues to this day.

For me, I’ve always had a strong auditory memory. I can remember songs, lyrics, and even conversations I’ve heard. I’m also good with numbers, names, and dates—something that showed up clearly in my diagnostic testing.

Identity and Acceptance

When I asked if he ever wished he didn’t have NVLD or ADHD, Luke shook his head.

“I wouldn’t have chosen it, but I wouldn’t want to be any other way. My symptoms have shaped who I am, and I like who I am.”

I couldn’t agree more. My podcast, my advocacy work, even this book—they all stem from my lived experience with NVLD. Without it, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Advice for Others

Luke had some beautiful words of advice for those feeling discouraged by their diagnosis:

“Don’t let anyone make you feel like your different operating system is wrong or flawed. Your brain just has a different operating system. If someone in your life can’t accept that, maybe they don’t need to be in your life.”

He also encouraged people who suspect they have NVLD or ADHD to educate themselves through books, blogs, or professional testing if they can access it.

I shared that I find The Mighty blog helpful, and I recommended NLD from the Inside Out by Michael Brian Murphy, a book that blends personal insight with social and scientific analysis of NVLD.

Shared Interests and Accomplishments

We talked about hyperfixations—common in neurodivergent people—and Luke mentioned Star Wars as one of his major interests. He also enjoys following Greta Thunberg and the environmental movement, especially because she’s neurodivergent too.

Luke recently started a Redbubble store where he creates and sells neurodivergence-themed designs. He’s had some sales in other countries, which he’s proud of. You can find his shop under the name L.Cash.

As for me, my hyperfixations include the environment, hummingbirds, butterflies, and of course, NVLD itself. I often get deep into research, song lyrics, or teaching myself new tech skills for work.

One of Luke’s proudest accomplishments is becoming an uncle to his young niece. My proudest moment, I shared, was graduating from UC Berkeley—a feat that felt nearly impossible at times. I had to learn how to ask for help, and I now see that as a strength rather than a weakness.

Final Thoughts

Talking to Luke was like meeting a kindred spirit. We share many of the same struggles—social cues, time blindness, math anxiety—but also many of the same strengths. Luke’s openness, self-awareness, and gentle humor made this conversation one of my favorites.

Whether it’s through community, creativity, or advocacy, I believe that people like Luke—and all of us with learning challenges—are redefining what it means to be neurodivergent in a world that’s just beginning to understand us.